It’s a chilly-fall-grey sky kind of day today, but I am determined to enjoy it.
I took my dog for a walk this morning and instead of going through my to do list or conversations I had had or how my kids behaved this morning, I looked at the droplets of water on each blade of grass, I looked at the leaves in the trees that were turning all shades of bright oranges and red and although it was a dull day looking to the sky, around me, I was surrounded by beauty. I looked at how happy my dog was and I breathed in the fresh air. This act of mindfulness and presence gave me an overwhelming sense of being alive and joy in a simple routine, because I was experiencing the now.
When I came home I did some cleaning around the house while listening to some instrumental piano and found that I didn’t feel so overwhelmed by everything I had to do. It’s turning into a good day.
I had my two cups of coffee this morning and tried to go to bed at a decent hour last night. Now I have a pot of tea ready to go and I’m finding I’m a lot more relaxed.
Aside from these acts, I found that there are 3 things that contributed the most to my sunny outlook on a gloomy day:
- Mini-goals with immediate rewards: I discovered a system that is working really well for me, and it’s this idea that rather than trying to take on lofty goals that bog me down and lead to feelings of failure and disappointment or, even worse, paralyzed anxiety, I am finding that if I give myself one small goal for each hour of the day and then reward myself for the remainder of that hour with something I want to do, I feel immediate gratification for accomplishing a task and then experiencing a joy of my choosing. This comes from the wisdom of my husband who is a multi-tasker to the extreme. He takes this to a whole new level with his work/life balance as a professor, but he broke it down for me the other night in beginner steps when I felt like I was just spinning my wheels, getting no where and feeling exhausted.
2. Aligning belief and action: The other bit of wisdom I received from reading “Perfectly Yourself” by Matthew Kelly was so simple and, in a way, very obvious, but in order to live a happy life, we must align ourselves with our beliefs and values. If there is any division between that and how we are living, we will feel a degree of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. For me, it’s been staying up past 9:30/10pm. I know and believe that sleep is key for living a healthy life, especially when mixed with bipolar disorder, but I haven’t been lining up with that truth and it’s lead to a lot of feelings of guilt and frustration. I have been working on aligning my belief that 2 cups of coffee is the healthy amount for me when consumed in the morning and living that out. Sleeping 9 hours a night is the next habit I want to agree with myself on and actually do, because I believe it will be transformative in living a better life. That is a belief I can get behind!
3. Preempting weak spots: Lastly what lead to a cheerful mood was being proactive and looking at recipes online for meals I can freeze. With a mood disorder, you never know when you will be having a hard day and I have been caught a number of times in this situation. My husband (being supportive) would order in or take us out for dinner, but in those times, I would feel like I let my family down and feel like a failure as a mom and wife. I’ve gotten a lot better at preparing freezer meals but I haven’t done it lately. It’s really as simple as cooking two of the same thing when you are making dinner or taking a Saturday/Sunday and prepping. The times I have had freezer meals ready to go I have felt so relieved and happy with myself for having my own back.
Feeling like you have a game plan for your weak spots is indispensable for stability and coping with mental illness in daily life.
This is my game plan, I hope I have encouraged you to think about yours even if we are not tackling the same areas, because when you’re okay and life is going smooth again, it’s so freeing and leaves room to do the things we enjoy, and that’s worth celebrating!
Have a beautiful day,
Lindsey
See and Wait, 